Spring sucks
Not sure if anyone even saw the last 2 posts, (I kinda hope they didn’t) but if you did, they have now been removed and here’s why:
This morning, the rain was coming down and I discovered my flonase was out and I started a new one, and then like magic I felt like a whole new person. I instantly realized what was at the root of those last 2 posts. Allergy induced emotional stuff.
I’m very strange in that for me a major allergy attack (or in this case slipping of the meds) causes high levels of anxiety and sends me on an emotional roller coaster. It’s very frustrating because in all my googling about allergies I have never found this as a symptom. Admittedly, it’s hard to to put it into words, I simply cannot articulate how I feel when I’m feeling it and when it’s gone, it’s gone and it’s impossible to conjure up the feeling to talk about it. Anyway, I have mentioned it to the dr, but she usually blows me off. The best I can come up with explain it is that a symptom of anaphylaxis is “feeling of impending doom” and anxiety. Anaphylaxis is simply a term for serve allergic reaction - and can be “mild” (a little bit of a oxymoron there!) in that it’s not life threatening. It’s very frustrating to feel trapped in your own, not happy emotions, and not be able to express them or make it stop. I hate it so much. The good news is that once I get the meds fixed, or the rain comes, or the pollen goes away, I feel all better and have a clear head very quickly. This is why I don’t think it’s an emotional-see-a-therapist type problem - when the allergy stuff goes away, I look back on what was bothering me and laugh and get embarrassed that I was so upset. If it were real I’d still be able to talk about it. You’d think that after as many years I’d know the feeling when it comes over me and sometimes I do and know that it’s time to shut my mouth and go hide from people until I feel better, but sometimes it catches me unaware, like yesterday.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaphylaxis
So anyway, that’s why I took down yesterday’s posts - in the light of today’s sanity it wasn’t a big deal at all. (although Sat was still a great day…allergies weren’t bothering me a bit then! :-)
Now I just have to hold on tight and not let up on my meds until June when the pollen will finally give me a break.
