3 more jokes - Tumblr didn’t reblog them all!
“Hey wanna go back to my place and not do things we’ll completely regret tomorrow?”
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“Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where’d you get it?
Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, dropped the bike, stripped naked and said: ‘Take whatever you want big boy’
Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”
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And one longer one that “seems about right to me”:
So, there are these three friends in college who always hang out together. Bob is straight, Ron is gay and Jerry is asexual. One day, as they’re walking through the hallway together after classes are over for the day, they are stopped by a group of other students. “Hey,” one of the students says to Bob, you’re almost never seen without these two geezers; I’m not sure if you’re really straight.” Well, that is all it takes. Bob looks around, and grabs the first girl he sees into an embrace, kisses her hard on the lips, does some various squeezing, and says, “You are coming home with ME tonight, understand?!” The girl nods, blushing and a bit shellshocked, and they walk off arm-in-arm. That pretty much settles things.
Next, another random student says, “Y’know, Ron, I hate to sound skeptical, but to be honest, I’ve never actually thought you were gay. You werestaring pretty hard just now as your friend and that girl had their little makeout session.” Immediately, Ron grabs a random guy who’s leaning on the wall, pulls him close, tongue-kisses him and asks, “So, what about it? You free tonight?” The other guy nods, and they both walk off, hand-in-hand, to Ron’s dorm room. Again, that pretty much settles things.
Now all eyes turn to Jerry. Someone says, “Hmm. I’ve always been a little skeptical about you being asexual, but I guess there would be no one who you could pull close to you to prove yourself.”
“Whom,” says Jerry.
“What?” asks the skeptical student.
“Not ‘who’ I could pull close to prove myself; whom I could pull close to prove myself.’
